Finished Man: The Legend of Simp

Oluwagbenga Kolawole 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the cinema. This is where we observe the activities of some hoomans in our midst, both the ones who are currently among us and those who have been taken from us. The cinema is life itself, and the series of events that we see here are basically a reflection.

Today, we will be watching the journey of Olasunmbo Simpman. Olasunmbo is a straight-A student. He is the trailblazer of his family and the pride of his village. He could do no wrong. But Olasunmbo became an adolescent, and he started exhibiting symptoms of that disease. He became hormonal and tried to connect with his spirit animal (whatever that is). His colors were no longer flying like they used to. But then, it didn't really bother him; after all, flying colors are for birds.

Upon his admission to Fess and Bess University, he decides to mingle and make friends. It's during one of his awkward social interactions that he meets Raymond. Raymond is a politically vibrant staylite, and he takes Sumbo under his wing. Or better still, under his armpit, as Sunmbo becomes his political underling. However, Sunmbo also benefits from their symbiotic relationship; he becomes a social lord of sorts.

 To strengthen his social status, Raymond introduces him to Sophia, a certified Jesus baddie. And that's when he becomes a literal simp. Sunmbo learns how to establish social authority, but he will never learn how to maneuver a relationship. And thus, he finds himself in a situationship. Even Lord Raymond, the playmaster, couldn't bail him out. He becomes more than just a friend, similar to a cousin, not like an uncle, more like a brother, and very different from a boyfriend.

Sumbo, the pride of Dagiloro village, becomes a simpleton. His personal brand becomes Sophie's Inc, like Sophie's Escort Services, where he escorts her all over campus and across the seven continents; Sophie's Dry-Cleaning, where he assists her in doing her laundry due to the understandable stress of being a student of the Fess and Bess. Also, he becomes the manager of Sophie's wallet, only that the wallet he manages never receives but rather is constantly dispensing.

 As a result, he constantly has to go to scorched earth and live a simplistic life; after all, he is a simp.Over time, Sunmbo's academic dreams began to toast. From getting into fights for his political overlord to running errands for his more-than-just-a-friend friend, there's barely any time for him to put his affairs in order. So when the book of life is released and the tsunamis, erosions, earthquakes, and tornadoes begin to happen, Sunmbo finds himself on the other side of the wall, wondering what happened.

Dear audience, I know some of you might be having internal conflict over some of the things I've shown you. You might even be apprehensive about how synonymous Sunmbo's relationship is with some of the relationships you are in right now. But this is not about you. I assure you, it's just a coincidence. This is the story of a finished man, and I trust that you are not one.

UI'SU Postpones Congress, Student Group Kicks

Oluwagbenga Kolawole 

The Students Union of the University of Ibadan has on Thursday, 27th of June, 2024 postponed the congress earlier scheduled for Saturday, 29th, June, 2024.

This decision was announced in a release by the student union executives and signed by the President, Aweda Bolaji and the General secretary, Ogundijo Dolapo.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, the University of Ibadan Students' Union Congress earlier scheduled for Saturday, 29th June, 2024 has been postponed," the statement read.

"We will promptly notify you once there's a new date resolution," the statement concluded.

Meanwhile, a group of students under the name of Egbe Majeobaje have kicked against the decision of the student union executives. 

"Furthermore, according to Article XIII, section 1 of the constitution, in the absence of the President, Vice-President, and even the Speaker, the Congress reserves the power to elect one of its members to preside over it. We therefore reject the attempt to stall the Congress on the premise of the absence of the President and the Vice-President," the statement read.

"Nevertheless, we call on the principal officers of the Union, and the Speaker, to refrain from absconding from the Congress, as their primary commitment is to the Students of the University of Ibadan and not any other frivoli."

The statement was signed by Hon. Babatimehin Peace, Hon. Obirija Somtochukwu, Hon. Nice Linus, Hon. Muhammed Okunola, Hon. Mojoyinola Okikiola, Hon. Olawale Olajide and two others.

UI Willing to Lead in the Establishment of Cultural and Academic Relationships Between Nigeria and Namibia," says UI VC, Prof. Adebowale

The Vice-Chancellor, University of Ibadan, Professor Kayode Oyebode Adebowale mni, FAS has given an  assurance of the  readiness of the University of Ibadan to serve as a vanguard in the building of cultural and academic  relationships with Namibia among other possible collaborations. 

Professor  Adebowale said this when he received the High Commissioner of Namibia and Permanent Representative to ECOWAS, H.E. Mr. Humphrey D. Geiseb during  a courtesy visit to his office.

The Vice-Chancellor assured the Ambassador that the University of Ibadan could act as a vanguard in building academic and cultural relationships between the countries by leveraging  collaborations between UI and the University of Namibia and others to foster an enduring relationship between the two African countries. 

The High Commissioner told the VC that he was in UI to discuss areas of common interest between UI and sister institutions in Namibia.  

He recalled how Nigeria supported Namibia during the days of colonialism and the struggle for independence and stated that Namibia remains grateful for all Nigeria did to help achieve independence. 

He further noted that Nigeria was home for many Namibian students during the  struggle for independence. 

Mr Geiseb stated that his  visit was to rekindle and strengthen the friendship between the two nations as well as look at how Namibia could borrow from innovations and outstanding research and discoveries at the University of Ibadan.